Checking in...

Drinking Green Milk,

contemplating the new "clean",

the season's last tomatoes...

----

Welcome to our new life!

Our so-called Fall

Have you ever met a person who has really favored a season other than Fall? It's always Fall! It's beautiful, the colors change, the temperature is lovely, it's a nice respite from the Summer.We prefer it, and we all feel so special for it. I think that's pretty cute.

After a dry, hot summer (our average was in the high 90s) that spanned late April to early October, I was hoping for some kind of a beautiful Fall payoff. You know, something wet, breezy, chilly, and as Lisa would say, "Crisp." Instead, the dryness caused a lot of the trees to jump ship early on, and though a few of them are waiting for the grand finale, it feels like we're on our way into Winter already. Which i'm sure will be cold, dry, dark, and windy. Welcome to life in the Valley of the Midwest.

Changes are afoot here in the Dexfield household. I started a second part-time job, which means that my days are super-structured for me: Breakfast, work, class, work, time with Lisa, then homework, sleep. And that's it. Lisa's been with Soren a bit more as a result, and i think all three of us just miss each other a lot. I told Soren that i was going to work this morning. His reply: "Soren- work! Okay!!" He grabbed my hand and walked towards the door with me. I wish i could have taken him to work with me. I miss that guy, even if he still doesn't sleep well.

And, as an aside, the Terrible Twos (i prefer the term "Two-berty") aren't really as terrible as parents warned. We had a really rough patch for a bit, but once you figure that Soren had 8 different teeth pushing through his gums that was disrupting his sleep and eating, you have a lot more compassion. Heck, any adult who was getting new teeth splitting through their gums would be a bit cranky, too. I actually think that Soren tries to be nicer than most adults I know.

With the end of school in sight, we are weighing the possibility of moving back to the West coast. We just don't know where, or how. I guess these things have a way of working out, but after being out here for almost five years, I feel very timid about being back on the left coast. How will we make enough money? Can we be near family?  Is it possible for anyone to find a job right now (unemployment rate here is close to 25%)?
What is most important to us, after all?

The idea of moving has been a very exciting prospect for us. We've been here for a long time, and i can't say in all honesty that it feels like home, on any level. We've tried really, really hard for a really, really long time. We've had some very happy moments and I've had some extremely sad moments since I've been in Cincy. But when i think of my Grandma, when I think of the Pacific, when i think of Pinecrest and Yosemite, when I think of my friends of the last decade... my heart is not here in the Midwest.

This Fall has felt especially dry-- not the usually windy, rainy, brisk season we were hoping for. Lisa and I will have one long date this weekend (our first in two months! Ai ya...) and get to look out over the blanket of changing trees, enjoying one quiet moment before we burrow into the long Winter. In a way, maybe it's just a confirmation that life is not sentimental, and sometimes a few tough years will really just give you a boot in the pants on the way out the door, just to add insult to injury.
I've learned to see humor in suffering-- it makes it a lot more tolerable. That notion feels very buddhist to me.

I hope everyone is enjoying their fall, enjoying their families, and eating well! Bring on the pumpkins!

Get ready for a tsunami of photos.

When i first moved out to Knoxville, it was in part to experience Yee-Haw-- a real life, honest-to-gosh still working antique print shop. Lisa might have had her equivalent experience in the wonderful state of Tennessee!

We drove down to experience The Farm (as in, "THE" farm), which Lisa could tell you about much better than i could. Essentially, in the 1970's, a group of San Francisco hippies started driving around the country on a school bus, giving lectures and generally loving it up. Since a lot of the women became pregnant, one of their members, Ina May Gaskin started to "catch" babies, and eventually became a de facto Midwife. She is one of Lisa's heroes.

We didn't get to meet Ina May, but we did stay with Marilyn in their wonderful yoga studio/contradance space/mediation room/guest house. Full of sunlight, and Soren quickly made himself at home with his '45s.

We toured the farm in a golf cart, i went swimming in a natural pond at 8:30 in the morning, Soren shot some hoops and met all the cats, and Marilyn made us homemade meals each day with blueberries and corn that they grew on the property.

Leaving Cincinnati

It was pretty special, all in all. Something about putting pictures with a place is really wonderful, and it's nice to discover a place that is special to someone who is special to you. In fact, sometimes it is more fulfilling than just pursuing something on your own that you love.

AND, in Nashville, Lisa finally got to meet Doug and Mim, plus their 3 year old boy Graham! They were unbelievably kind to let us stay with them and experience the chaos of two boys meeting. They were beyond kind-- i basically invited myself down and Doug and Mim, being incredibly southern and hospitable, said "Of course!!"

Getting home!

How can i explain all the layers of surreality that happened there? For one,  Doug and Mim first encouraged me when I started dating Lisa again, so it was great for them to FINALLY meet her. Mim is a nurse, and she and Lisa got to chat about that, motherhood, being married to sloppy men (just kidding, doug), etc. Doug is now a dad, so i got to see him in a new context.

Soren and Graham got along as well as they could have, i think. Soren was out of his element, so he had to adjust to different surroundings, and Graham wasn't used to having another boy trying to use all his toys, etc. But i think they got along well, and they seemed to have hit their stride the night before we left (which is better than the reverse, I think).

Marilyn's house in the woods

Soren plays DJ

The guest house!

Soren loved their cats!

The old unused silos.

I went for a morning swim here! The next day was overcast, still, and cool.

"Say, what is that thing carrying my truck?

Marilyn, truck, Lisa, and Soren.
Lisa loved taking this photo so much that she forgot her wallet. D'oh!

I know, you're thinking how sporty he is. But this is actually the pinnacle of his shot.

Soren discovers... television.

This is probably a "No, that's MINE!" moment. Believe it or not, it is
incredibly difficult to take pictures of two 2-3 year old boys running amok.

Mim! Soren actually wanted to dance with her instead of Lisa.
Kind of made Lisa sad!

My friend Bryce from Isle of Printing insisted that we take this for Soren's room.
Bryce's style makes his shop one of my favorite letterpress studios, and certainly
the best in Nashville!

Hami melon and seaweed

Part of being Soren means having a semi-eccentric childhood. While he loves strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, bananas, watermelon, and plums, Soren is also being introduced to other foods. On Saturday, he had his first taste of lychee. Yesterday, he had a Hami melon for the first time.

Hami melon-- let me tell you, if you haven't tried it, you should. It tastes like a cross between cantaloupe (but much milder) and almond. It's called a "snow melon" and tastes really sweet, delicate, smooth, and crisp. Wonder-wonder-wonderful.

Also yesterday, Soren was bursting at the seams for me to open a new container of Nori-- that is, dried seaweed. Would you believe that he loves it? I remember having favorite foods as a kid, but they definitely did not originate anywhere near Asia. Or the ocean floor.

We've made it a priority to feed ourselves well, and we are eating organic, local, and fresh whenever possible. It felt like a splurge at first, but we all feel the difference and almost NEVER get sick. In fact, the only time i get sick is when i am either not sleeping or catching poison ivy, which i apparently love to do. That's a story for another day.

Summer Salads

I've been celebrating the hot midsummer by making a steady stream of salads with lettuce from our organic garden.

This one is our Red Leprechaun lettuce, which is a tad bitter. Mixed with sesame seeds, grilled red peppers, grilled green peppers (local), shredded slow-cooked pork, local organic cranberry cinnamon sauerkraut, almonds, cashews, macadamia nuts, and sugared ginger with a poppyseed dressing.

It's tasty.

I also bought a new tiffin since our bus system took mine captive. It's my preferred way to bring lunches to work... if only they made a rectangular one that also stacks. Anyone going to India anytime soon? If so, please pick me up a rectangular stackable tiffin!

Fledgling photographer

When I grew up, cameras were things that were made of plastic and used film. To process the film and produce prints, my parents had to pay $4-6 per 24 shots, and as they were a bit on the thrifty side, I didn't get to indulge in every whim I saw fit. They didn't quite sympathize with the pictures my brother Ben took of action figure dioramas or pictures I took of moody treescapes.

I own a Canon Elph which is outdated enough for me to feel very cavalier about. So much so, in fact, that I feel pretty confident about letting Soren take pictures with it. He likes seeing the images show up in the viewfinder and can't quite get around his habit of holding a finger in front of the lens. But I love scrolling through pictures I took of the week to find a few gems thrown in there-- a completely untrained photographic eye saving shots that are severely cropped, or pure planes of color.

You might not agree, but I find them to be really nice.

Wineries in Ohio?

Silly me-- I never realized what a luxury it was to live so close to Napa Valley, a wine capital of the world, without a baby to care for. (Gosh, what did i DO with all my time?!?!?) So when my parents came again to watch Lisa's recital, they offered us a chance to take a whole day to ourselves, if we wanted to. We did want to, believe it or not.

We hopped into my car and drove out east to a winery nestled on the bank of the Ohio River, which touches Ohio and Kentucky. It was raining in that very specific way that doesn't happen on the West Coast. It felt more like a monsoon-- hot, heavy, drenching, and sudden rain. The sky must have changed color dramatically at least 3 times while we split our two bottles of wine!

We outlasted the tour buses, the locals, and the folks who ordered the sweet wines. We were in no hurry, and we simply sat and watched the rain, talking and drinking. 

Sometimes I catch myself wishing for things that I don't have, or a place that I am not living in. It's important for me to realize that a lot of these things that are unexpected, unfamiliar, and even difficult to enjoy can be looked at in a few ways. When something is different than what we expect, we can see it as pure disappointment, or inferior to what we thought we originally wanted. But it's a much better idea to see the Unexpected as an adventure. After all, isn't that what adventure is? An encounter with the unknown? The feeling of being totally surprised?

I've decided that any person with no imagination can enjoy a day of wine tasting in Napa. That's easy. But to enjoy a day in a homey winery on the giant and murky Ohio River? Friends, that is what I call "An Adventure."

We split a few bottles of the wine brewed here on site (which used to be a boxing ring at one point!) and had the accompanying food. The wine was, actually, not too bad! The food... well, that was a little more typical Southern Ohio fare. Probably fried. The memory has faded some, so I don't think it was spectacular.

Mostly, a chance to hang out with JUST Lisa, with nothing to do but enjoy each other put us both in a good mood. We really don't get that very often, so when we do, it feels like a dream. AND, the idea of hanging out without a baby, or homework, or chores, or errands? Oh yeah. That's what all you single/unattached people just take for granted. But lemme tell you-- oh ho ho. It's fantastic.

Lisa post-hair cut. Me pre-hair cut. It's like a waterfall of hair!!

Anticipating rain...

During the monsoon...

After the rain! Notice the deep murk. That's what you call a real river.