baby stuff....

Several of you have asked us what we still need for Soren. Our family, friends, and church families have been so generous giving us beautiful clothes and baby gear. There are still a few things we could use for our baby. Most are on our Babies R Us and Target registries.

Things that aren't on a registry...
We can't wait to keep Soren close to us after these long weeks of separation, and have heard that the Ergo carrier is one of the most comfortable carriers for both baby and parent. Our favorite is the Camel color.
www.ergobabycarriers.com/babycarriers/category/carrier/

We could use a few simple wooden and/or cloth toys for when he's a little older.

We're still working to build a great collection of books for Soren. If you have any old favorite books from your childhood, we'd love to share them with him! Both of us agree that used books are at least as good (if not better) than new, and can't imagine why a baby would disagree...

More than all of the gear, though, we could use your continued prayers, encouragement, and understanding when we don't write or call back as quickly as we used to... The continuous support you have all offered us throughout our pregnancy and now through this difficult time of being separated from our son has been such a gift and a blessing to both of us.

sweetest little bean...

I can hardly believe a week has past since the birth of our precious child. Experienced parents are quick to point out how weeks, months, years pass by despite all desperate efforts to hang on to them and process each sweet day, and I suppose I'm getting my first taste of what the rest of my life will feel like...

Soren River Fairfield
May 18
Length: 15 3/4 inches
Weight: 3 pounds, 10.5 oz
Feeding: started on 2 ml of milk every 2 hours the next morning

May 25
Length: 17 inches
Weight: 4 pounds
Feeding: 35 ml every 3 hours and increasing every day!

Our little boy has been doing wonderfully. He hasn't had even the smallest difficulty since his birth, and is quickly moving through the NICU milestones. Perhaps the biggest achievement of his little life so far has been moving from his incubator to a regular bed. It's such a blessing for us to have such easy contact with him, getting to hold him whenever we wish! And he looks quite grown up in his little clothes and swaddling blankets.





It's impossible to know exactly when we can expect Soren to come home. Babies don't usually coordinate their sucking, swallowing, and breathing until the 35th week or
so (he was born at 31.5), so it will likely be 3-4 more weeks until he's able to eat well on his own and leave the NICU.

I miss him desperately. After months of my body being in contact with his, it's heartbreaking to have to leave him in the care of another every evening. It's a bit of a consolation, though, to use this time to prepare everything for him. His clothes are washed, folded, and organized in his brand new dresser (put together the night before I went to the hospital), baby gear is accumulating in our living room, bottles of milk are filling our freezer... what joyful work it's been making our home his!






I never knew I could love another this much...

One Week old

How in the world did this happen???

We now have a beautiful one week old child. I know--- every parent says that their baby is so beautiful, and they insist on showing every unsuspecting person a dozen pictures of a pinkish/gray silkworm looking thing in the hopes of generating excitement. However, our baby really IS beautiful...

We are both amazed at his progress. On his first day, he insisted on breathing on his own, and pulled out his breathing tube twice. He was using a pacifier within 12 hours, or alternately, his fist. Since breathing and sucking reflex are the two things that are supposed to have slow development for newborns, the nurses are very impressed.

But beyond all the trophy brandishing, Lisa and i are so in love with his spirit. It's not just us, either. One of the nurses told Lisa how much she likes watching him, and how he reminds her of her son. Another complained about having to rotate babies because she wanted to watch him all night. He almost never cries, and when he does, he calms down so quickly. He is so reasonable, gentle, soft, patient, and sweet already. Really-- there's something so special about him.

Whenever we get the chance, we are driving over to the NICU to be with him. Lisa is getting to give him spongebaths and we've both changed diapers already. We are making an effort to hold him skin-to-skin, and i have to tell you how wonderful THAT is. It's like taking morphine-- your bloodpressure drops, with your eyelids, and it feels so wonderful. He really responds to it too, even when it's MY chest he is sleeping on. We notice that he responds to us when we talk to him, and he loves it when i sing to him. He'll stop crying just to be able to listen. Let's hope that keeps up!

We are both so, so, so grateful for everyone's support and good wishes. We have been inundated with emails, letters, and phone calls and wish we could return them all (this is another thing that all parents say); they all mean so so much to us. Especially being so far away from everyone we love, it means a lot for us to still feel connected to people. Please keep them coming.

I can't wait for you all to meet him.
He's such a beautiful boy.

Trinity Sunday Surprise

Lisa had about 4 hours of interrupted sleep when our new favorite nurse Theresa came in to check the baby's heartrate. There was a bit of decelerations over the night, so they wanted to perform a Stress Test, to see how the baby would do during contractions. It went so poorly that the staff felt it best to perform a c-section. We were visibly shaken up, and the staff was really gentle and patient with explaining the whole procedure to us, and for the timing of this decision.

We were told that there would be minimal risks of brain damage, but that at 31 weeks, he would be able to survive quite well. We must have looked petrified, because he told us, "Really, you have nothing to worry about." I felt a prayer of thanks that the staff this morning was not the uninspiring group that was "helping" us the night before.

Just like that, the room started to fold up into itself. Lisa was getting prepped, i was packing up our things, shoving food into my mouth (so that i wouldn't pass out during surgery), and trying to fathom what was about to happen, 9 weeks before we were expecting it. As they rushed Lisa out the door, i managed to just touch her head on the way out.



Then I was instructed to wait for a half hour. I sat in a "bunny suit" feeling like i was suddenly thrown into a movie plot.

In the OR, Lisa had been given a spinal anesthesia, and had a tarp hiding her body from the neck down. At least six surgeon staff were surrounding her, with six pediatric staff waiting. I sat right by Lisa and stroked her forehead while the doctors pulled her to and fro. She said that she never felt pain, but pressure and tugging (especially when they started pushing his legs at her ribs). They alerted me right before they pulled him out, so i got to stand up, tune out the zombie torso, and see this otherwordly gray fox emerge from her belly. He was crying and alive, and i felt my whole body grow quiet in respect.

They wiped him off, bundled him up, took vitals and whisked him off. Lisa got to touch him on the forehead on his way out, and the look on her face was wonderful. I sat with her while they were stitching her up. Something about the doctor's casual demeanor with his bloody white gloves made me feel nauseous for the first time, but to my extreme credit, i held everything in okay (i get squeamish, thank you).




Lisa went to the recovery room and i was able to go see our baby. I don't know if i could put the feeling into words, but i felt like i was walking into something wonderful. I walked into the NICU and spotted him right away. He was in an incubator, and looked so untouched, even though he was hooked up to so many wires. What can people say about new babies that doesn't sound like a cliche? They just feel like a new shower, or the way grass smells after it rains. They feel like they are still part spirit, as opposed to us being earthly humans. We all grow old and experienced, and new babies are the exact opposite of the aging process of life.



I remember when i touched him that i felt like i was touching the face of God. I spent nearly 2 hours just looking at him with my hands on his back and head.

Lisa was actually in really good shape, and she took a great nap with a beautiful smile on her face. She didn't get to see her baby until late that night, but it was just as amazing to see him again with her. How do parents began to love their kids? It's so weird how it sneaks up on you. We both talked about how we realized just this last week how much we loved this kid who we had never even met. And then to see him in front of us was too beautiful.




I remember one moment where i was looking out the window. It was slightly overcast with huge, billowing clouds and clear blue sky. It was so perfect that it made me laugh.

Hang in there, sweet baby...

On Wednesday night I was admitted to the hospital. I hadn't felt the baby moving as much that day, and came in to have them check the baby's heart beat. When they put me on the monitor, they saw that he was having frequent decelerations of his heartrate. After a few ultrasounds, they have been able to determine that his cord is wrapped around his neck at least twice. So, when I have a contraction, or sometimes when he moves, it compresses his cord and makes his heartbeat drop temporarily.

We don't know exactly what's going to happen next. I'm on the monitor almost constantly. He seems to be bouncing back pretty strongly after the decels, which shows that he's not in immediate distress. But the worry is that, if this continues, he'll start to tire out and not bounce back so quickly each time.... if that became the case, it would be better for him to be born, even though he'd be 8-9 weeks early right now. While that sounds terribly early to me, the likelihood of him having any serious long-term problems at this gestational age is very low. Our hospital is one of the best for high-risk pregnancies and premature babies, so it's somewhat comforting knowing we're all in the best of hands.

It seems to be a sure thing that I'll stay here at the hospital until he's born. What's still totally up in the air is when his birth might take place.... tomorrow? In two weeks? Four? The doctors are just taking things one day at a time, observing his heartrate tracing carefully, and doing frequent ultrasounds to monitor his overall well-being. We'll do our best to keep everyone updated. Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers....

Wednesday is coming!

Can you believe that in just three days Jenae is coming all the way from the glorious city of Seattle to the notoriously average city of Cincinnati just to visit us? This is very good news, you see. In almost seven years of being friends we have had some marvelous adventures, many of which have involved two Vespas, old bridesmaid's dresses, and wine drinking (and occasionally all three at the same time). It's not such a good idea for pregnant ladies to ride Vespas or drink wine, and those bridesmaid's dresses found new homes years ago. So, now we will add "having a beautiful baby shower" to our long list of wonderful memories. Did I mention that I'm very excited? Because, I'm very excited.

Summer 2003

30 weeks and overdue...

Months after first promising to join the blogging world I am now finally getting around to it. I can't assure you that it will be the wittiest blog, or the most frequently updated, but I at least imagine that the universal appeal will increase with the posting of way too many pictures of a sweet baby boy sometime around July 17.

Meanwhile, here are some pictures to brief you on the last 6.5 months of project Baby Belly...

27 weeks